Friday, May 12, 2017

What I Really Want for Mother's Day

While standing in line at Jo-Ann Fabrics yesterday, my three year old son wandered off to a display bin near the registers. He pulled out a plastic "Ninja Turtles" ball and proudly announced, "Mom! THIS is what I want for Mother's Day!" The other moms in line all around us began to giggle.

I must add, Levi's gift proclamation was made even more humorous given that he was wearing two of my can openers. Yes, you did read that correctly -- CAN OPENERS... one in each pocket, because he determined early on in the day that they looked like the nun chucks that the Ninjas use to battle their enemies.

I leaned down to Levi and said, "Babe, I love your ball but do you know why we celebrate
Mother's Day? It's not for Levi. It's for mommas, to thank them for how hard they work." He looked at me puzzled and then said with a big grin, "Oh. Okay, well which Ninja Turtle ball would YOU like for Mother's Day?" Immediately, more laughs from our growing audience. At this moment he decided to ham it up by pulling out his nun chucks (ahem... can openers), and demonstrate his ninja moves for all to see. I just held my head in my hands and rolled my eyes. This is my son, friends. My husband and I just don't make quiet, boring children. 

Levi's gift idea got my thoughts rolling. What would I really and truly like for Mother's Day?

I love fresh flowers but they die. I like clothes but I'm currently in between sizes as I try to shed the last pounds of Evie weight. Throughout the afternoon my thoughts evolved into more practical ideas.

Laundry!

I want that gigantic mountain of laundry finally folded for Mother's Day. Having a constantly nursing baby makes folding laundry near impossible. I'm not kidding when I tell you that the pile has been growing for 8 weeks and we've all just waved our collective white flags as we wade through the sea of laundry each morning for clean (ish) clothes. 

Maybe I could just ask for a house cleaner to deep clean my house. Because again.... nursing baby. 

By the end of the day, as I surveyed my home  -- messy kitchen table, counters piled high with dishes, shoes falling out of the front coat closet, I had finally decided.

What I want for Mother's Day is ... more time. 

"Oh how sweet. She's being sentimental. She wants more time with her quickly growing babies". 

Nope. 

I want more time in the day. More hours. More energy to go with those extra hours.

Right now all the Mommas in the world are out there raising praise hands. 

When I think about the 24 hour day that we as Mommas have, the irreverent part of me wonders, "Was the Lord really thinking of mothers when he designed the 24 hour day?" 

As a mother and a woman, I am constantly faced with choices. Do I clean the kitchen? Or take a nice relaxing bath?

Nope, not enough time for that. The dishes won't clean themselves. 

Do I work on the project I've been eyeing on Pinterest? Or do I actually use the sleeping baby time to fold my mountain of laundry? I usually choose to tackle a small hill of the laundry before the baby wakes. 

Do I write the blog post, read the book, paint my nails?

Nope. Nope. And Nope.

In fact, I am currently typing this for you on my husband's iPhone during a 3 a.m. feeding because I know I won't find or make time later in the day while chasing around three kids. 

Last night my eagerness finally got the best of me and I chose to do the DIY project instead of cleaning after putting the kids to bed. While bouncing my nap boycotting baby on one knee, I painted and glued and beaded.  Then I passed out exhausted in bed with my nursing baby. 

But of course, 3 a.m. rolled around and as I shuffled through my kitchen for our nightly feeding, my eyes canvased the forgotten counters piled high with dishes and the messy table unprepared for the morning's breakfast. 

Good heavens. All I freaking want is more time.

More time to take the bath, to read the book, to do the nails, to do the DIY project. Because truly, in the season I am in now, you really don't get both. Or at least I haven't quite mastered how yet. 

I've basically resigned myself to the fact that if I choose "me time", my home looks like a burglar broke in and ransacked the place. 

If I choose to take a shower, my children get frozen waffles for breakfast.  If I choose to make the pancakes and give up the shower, then inevitably, I look like a homeless person all day. 

I can't have my pancakes and eat them too. Only I really do love pancakes. And I really do love the clean feeling of no spit up in my hair. 

I'm fairly certain that when I wake up Sunday morning, there are still going to be 24 hours in my day. I may get that bath and some wine to go with it. I may get a new can opener since mine has been stolen by my tiny human.  I may also get a ninja turtle ball -- a Michelangelo one, because he's my favorite turtle.

My Mother's Day will end with the age old mom question "how do I do alllll the things in 24 hours?" 

The truth is, I don't. And that's okay. It's about lowering expectations, making sacrifices and compromises. It's about having a servant's heart.  It's about accepting the messy and the chaos in a season of raising babes. It's realizing that as Mommas, we're all on this journey together with messy homes and frazzled schedules and big, full hearts. But we can still dare to dream that maybe, possibly, someday we will master how to do self care well while also managing our homes like pros. 

Picture credit to Chesney Louie Photography
BUT until then, I'll continue to share my thoughts, 3 a.m. blinking on the clock and a sleepy nursing babe in my arms. 

What about you sweet momma? What do YOU want for Mother's Day this year? 
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